Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
