I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
