Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
