i permit you to call me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
