Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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