Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
