Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i think im in europe. pls send help
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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