It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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