wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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