Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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