I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
