Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
