They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it glows. i had to have it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
