i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
