the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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