Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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