i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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