Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
