...so i touched it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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