My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
