i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
