and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize