We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
