called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
