idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
