My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
