weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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