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It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
