im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
