dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize