The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
