super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
