Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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