i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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