By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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