I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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