I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm going to jail i love you
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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