Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
