Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
