why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
