Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
