I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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