Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
