he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
