i don't like sucking hair
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
