Yo dont text me then not text me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
