Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize