I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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