Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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