I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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