Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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