Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You made out with two different species that night
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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