I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
