Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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