I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
