piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
