in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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