3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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