so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
