I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
