were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
