Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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