Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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