I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
