New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we're making bets on your personal life
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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