At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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